One could argue there is worse stuff on television. I agree not eveything aimed at children is actually appropriate. But that is another topic. This is about Twilight.

If you had chosen to read it because you are into that sort of male behavior, that is fine. I do not know how old you are, but you sound mature.

I myself actually hate romance novels because all the ones I have tried have shown helpless (usually innocent virgin)women who get swept up by these arrogant , bossy men. That does not turn me on, that actually disgusts me and I hate men like that.I pefer a man to view me as an equal and treat me with respect. And not sexually harass me like guy in the last one i tried was doing. But that is me.

Basically, I”m just responding because I found your post amusing, I mean I never thought that there may be a demographic like yourself who would read Twilight for the purpose someone like me hates it for. Lol, I enjoy a little kink and domination in the bedroom, but that is just play. I would never date someone like Edward.

But your post had an interesting view.

1.) When Bella goes to look up the book that Alice left for her, she asks for about five minutes to be inside their house alone. Edward gives her two. The place they live in is described as being rather small. I find it hard to believe Bella, now a well-controlled vampire by this point, would have been in much danger had he left her alone for the extra three minutes she requested. There’s the other implication, that he couldn’t stand to leave her alone that long, which is just as alarming because quite frankly, it’s not healthy if a person can’t go for five minutes without being next to someone or something.

2.) When Bella goes to get the forged documents and returns home, she outright admits that Edward will be breaking into her car later and reading her odometer to see if she’s lying about where she went. Ignoring the fact that that is unnecessary and controlling, it’s there for very little purpose. She’s a vampire, so it’s hardly like many things could hurt her. The Volturi have not yet arrived, so it’s hardly like they could attack her while she’s out. There’s also really no reason for Edward to assume that Bella was up to anything. It was nearly Christmas, she said she was shopping, she SHOWED him what she bought, and he still was going to break into her car.

3.) When Bella finds out the Volturi are coming, she immediately asks for self-defense classes. This is a smart thing, since all we are told is that there will surely be a fight and the Volturi surely will be powerful and Bella is one of the vampires they will want to kidnap or capture. Edward spends all of the time she trains complaining about how he can’t stand the thought of her in combat, even though everyone believes that combat will be unlikely and thus teaching her to fight will only help. At one point when she wants to make up for lost time and spend the night training with Emmett, Edward outright refuses to let her train. Yet again, there’s very little reason. Okay, she spent the day out of the house. I personally would say that if a life and death situation is on the horizon, I could let my spouse out of my sight for one evening so they could up their chances of not dying later.

boyfriend even though there are plenty of times in the text where it is

SHOWN, not told where he is being a controlling jerk. Never is it SHOWN

where he is being nice. It is only told to us. I’ll give examples of him being a

controlling boyfriend after I give a definition to the phrase.

The Top Ten Sides of a Controlling Boyfriend

He’s Always By Your Side

‘If you are in a relationship where it seems that you have no time to

yourself, chances are you have a controlling boyfriend. He never wants

you to go anywhere without him. There is no more “girls night out” for you

and your friends, unless he is with you. Doesn’t sound like a good time.”

While Edward does ‘give’ Bella time to hang out with Angela and Jessica

he shouldn’t have to ‘give’ her time to spend with her friends. He never lets

her make her own decisions unless someone from his family prevents him

from controlling her.

And whenever she is having ‘fun’ with her friends he’s always around the

corner with his Volvo to save her from the ‘dirty rapists’ who want to hurt

her. (Chapter 8 of Twilight)

Now it takes Alice and Jasper to prevent him from controlling her opinion in

the end of Twilight. It takes Emmet and Alice to prevent him from sucking

her blood in the beginning of the book. It takes Rosalie to prevent him from

forcefully giving her an abortion in Breaking Dawn.

See something wrong with this trend?

You Do What He Likes

“When you do go out, it is to an event that HE chooses. You may not feel

like going to a movie, but it is what he wants to do, for example. Also, his

turning down an offer to do what you would like is a key sign that he is not

flexible. It often leaves the impression that he does not care about your

interests. He may, or may not, but he is not supportive either way.”

When Bella is in Port Angeles for the first time and he ‘saves’ her he

forces her to go to a restaurant even though she’d been looking for a

bookstore. This can pretty much sum up the whole conversation.

“Drink,” he ordered.

I sipped at my soda obediently

She always does what he wants her to do. Forging her signature to go to

Dartmouth, the Prom, the Wedding. These are things that she didn’t want

but he forced them upon her. Even if it is logical to want some of these

things it doesn’t excuse the fact that he forced them onto her. If a child

agreed to being abused does that make it right for the abuser to abuse

them? No.

You Do Things For Him

“Honey, go pick up some soda for me.” sounds like a genuine request for

assistance. If your boyfriend is constantly asking you to run errands,

without including you as the benefactor, this is another sign of the need to

feel in control. Instead of “…pick up some soda for me.”, the request

should be, “We’re out of soda. Can you go pick some up, please?”. Can

you see the difference? WE are in need of soda, simply.”

Very honestly I see nothing that he gives Bella in return for ‘all the things’

she does for him. Her life would have been much easier without him

returing again and again to give her another dose of the dazzle.

No Manners

“In the previous example, the “please” was left out intentionally. Your

boyfriend will not be polite. He will not say “thank you”, “you’re welcome”,

“please” or even “excuse me” to you. It is because he is expecting you to

comply with his requests. He also feels as if you should be thanking him

for allowing you to do things for him.”

Whenever Edward does say please it’s not polite. He doesn’t have

manners. He’s not a gentleman. Honestly what sort of gentleman does this

to a lady?

“His long hands unexpectedly gripped my waist, and his foot pushed mine

off the gas pedal. He pulled me across his lap, wrenching my hands free

of the wheel, and suddenly he was in the driver’s seat. The truck
didn’t swerve an inch.”

“We were near the parking lot now. I veered left, toward my truck.

Something caught my jacket, yankingme back.

“Where do you think you’re going?” he asked, outraged. He was gripping a

fistful of my jacket in one hand.

I was confused. “I’m going home.”

“Didn’t you hear me promise to take you safely home? Do you think I’m

going to let you drive in your condition?” His voice was still indignant.

“What condition? And what about my truck?” I complained.

“I’ll have Alice drop it off after school.” He was towing me toward his car

now, pulling me by my jacket.It was all I could do to keep from falling

backward. He’d probably just drag me along anyway if I did.

“Let go!” I insisted. He ignored me. I staggered along sideways across the

wet sidewalk until we reached the Volvo. Then he finally freed me — I

stumbled against the passenger door.”

I hope I’m not the only one seeing things wrong with this situation.

Questions, Questions

“When you can finally break through the chains, and find some free time

for yourself, be prepared: your controlling boyfriend will interrogate you

when you return. Putting himself in a “father figure” position will install

more of a sense of control. Treating you like a child that went to the mall,

prior to doing her homework, is the kind of humiliation in you he is trying to

achieve.”

Does anything need to be said about Edward’s condescending attitude to

her all of the time? And the countless probe sessions that he puts her

through because he is unable to read her mind.

No Questions, No Answers

“Unlike the aforementioned subject, your boyfriend will come and go as he

pleases, without answering to anyone – especially to you. If you try to

question his whereabouts or activities, he will become defensive. The

subject will immediately transfer from your asking, “where were you?” to

his comeback remark about how you nag him too much, or something

similar to that effect. He will ignore answering the question, and make you

feel guilty for asking it. This is in hope that you will not do it again.”

Edward is always denying her answers or asking a question in return to

her questions. He fits the description quite accurately.

He’s Always Right

“In an argument with a controlling personality, it is very difficult for him to

accept defeat. The controlling boyfriend will get more defensive, change

the subject, or bring up a past occurrence, when he was, indeed, correct,

in order to prove his point with the issue at hand. He may not always be

right, completely, but he is never wrong.”

YES! Edward is always right no matter what in all of him and Bella’s

‘disagreements’. She always bends to his will like a rubber band.

Can’t Buy Me Love

“Fools gold has been around for centuries. However, a fool AND his gold

have special meaning to the controlling boyfriend. He will buy you nice

jewelry, take you to expensive restaurants and maybe even offer to pay a

debt of yours. He will say it is because he loves you. Not true. He needs to

feel superior to you. You now owe him, in his mind. Who is the fool? To

him, you are.”

YES! YES! AND YES! Edward is always buying her expensive gifts and

giving her needless expensive things that won’t do her any good. She

hates having money squandered on her yet he does it anyway and allows

his family to do so not realizing that it adds to her inferiority complex.

You’re Worthless

“Belittling your self-confidence can be have very serious consequences.

Making you feel as if you are worthless without him, the controlling

boyfriend will prey on times that you may be stressed the most. If you

have just lost a job, or if you are experiencing normal hormonal reactions,

this is the time he will strike. He wants you to feel as if life is not worth

living without him. It’s hard to believe, but his confidence level is actually

lower than yours.”

Bingo. Do I even need to give an example of all the times Edward says that

he can kill her with his big toe? This is not neccesary. It is also wrong for

him to tell her to stay away from him and then say that he’ll see her later in

class. What sort of thing is that to say to someone?

No Means No

“This is the most upsetting trait that a controlling boyfriend can display. If

he forces you to do things, against your will, he is not in love with you.

Whether it is going to a baseball game, when you hate outdoor stadiums,

or, even more harsh an act, makes you perform sexually against your will,

he is NOT in love with you. Not showing you the courtesy to respect your

wishes is not a behavior that goes away. This will continue as an abusive

relationship, where you will be treated as an object, instead of a person.”

Bullseye! This is the trait that Edward displays the most. Whether it’s

forbidding her to see her friends by taking the motor out of her truck or

forcing her to eat when she insists that she isn’t hungry. This is controlling

behavior and does not need to continue.

1.Attached At The Hip – many controlling boyfriends behaviour is sparked

by their inability to trust. Someone who has to control another always

needs to be around to watch what they are doing and to ensure that their

partner is only having a “good time” when he is around. If you are in a

relationship with someone who insists on always being there and not

allowing you any time to yourself, then you are a victim of a controlling

boyfriend.

2.On His Terms – if your boyfriend is always making plans without

including you in the decision making process, then this is a major sign that

he has controlling habits. If he is constantly turning down invites and

opportunities to attend events that you have interest in and you always

seem to be attending events he has interest in, then chances are you have

a controlling boyfriend.

3.Interrogation – a controlling boyfriend is a great fan of interrogation. If

you do find a moment to yourself, spend some time with the girls or arrive

home a little later than expected, prepare to be asked a lot of questions as

to where you were, who you were talking to and why you took so much

longer than the average person would. Be careful of being in this type of

relationship which usually makes you feel humiliated and as if you are in

fact in the wrong.

4.Always Right – regardless of the situation or argument, the controlling

boyfriend will never admit to being wrong. This is often also linked to

breaking the partner down by making them believe that they are always

wrong or doing something wrong. When in this type of relationship, the

controlling boyfriend will swiftly change the subject to all the things you

may do wrong or have done wrong in the past.

5.Confidence Battering – the controlling boyfriend will be well aware of

when you are feeling stressed and a little down. He will use this as an

opportunity to “save the day” or sometimes even ridicule you or make you

feel silly for even believing you could do something successfully on your

own. This can range from social situations to work decisions that you may

have made. Breaking down ones confidence can have serious and long

lasting effects.

6.Snooping – a controlling boyfriend is usually a professional snoop. He

can often be found looking through your emails, sneaking a few peaks at

your cell phone messages and even reading your mail. This type of

behaviour in a relationship shows his need to control and always be in the

know, along with a lack of trust.

7.Isolation – when you find yourself in a relationship with a controlling

boyfriend, you will find that he will try and isolate you from your family and

friends. This will start usually with general disinterest in them to obvious

dislike and will sometimes even try to convince you that they do not love

you or care for you and are possibly even out to get you.

Those are even more signs for you to decode and bash.

It such come as a red flag for you when Edwards name flashes across

the screen whenever you type the phrase ‘controlling boyfriend’ into

google.

There is nothing loving about his behavior.

While many say that it’s ok because it’s his first relationship and he doesn’t

know how to react that still doesn’t make it ok.

Are all boys controlling in their first relationships? No.

Harry Potter was not abusive to Cho Chang. In fact it could be considered

the exact opposite.

Bella has battered woman syndrome and there is no way to say

otherwise.

Let’s see some symptoms of an abused woman shall we?

“DENIAL

The woman refuses to admit–even to herself–that she has been beaten

or that there is a “problem” in her marriage. She may call each incident an

“accident”. She offers excuses for her husband’s violence and each time

firmly believes it will never happen again.

GUILT

She now acknowledges there is a problem, but considers herself

responsible for it. She “deserves” to be beaten, she feels, because she

has defects in her character and is not living up to her husband’s

expectations.

ENLIGHTENMENT

The woman no longer assumes responsibility for her husband’s abusive

treatment, recognizing that no one “deserves” to be beaten. She is still

committed to her marriage, though, and stays with her husband, hoping

they can work things out.

RESPONSIBILITY

Accepting the fact that her husband will not, or can not, stop his violent

behavior, the battered woman decides she will no longer submit to it and

starts a new life.”

There’s one problem with this though. Bella hasn’t moved on to the third

stage. And she never will.

Here on some warning signs that Charlie and any other responsible adult

should have picked up in their relationship ages before they got married.

“The abused woman:

* shows guilt, ambivalence, and fear over living conditions.
* feels isolated and untrusting of others, even though she may be involved

in the community.
* is emotionally and economically dependent.
* has a poor self-concept (this may not have been true BEFORE the

relationship).
* has observed other women in her family being abused or may have been

abused as a child.
* feels angry, embarrassed, and ashamed.
* is fearful of being insane.
* has learned to feel helpless and feels powerless.
* has unexplained injuries that may go untreated.

The abusive man:

* shows extreme jealousy and wants to keep the woman isolated.
* has an inability to cope with stress and shows a lack of impulse control.

(This may not necessarily appear outside the home)
* shows severe mood swings.
* may have a history of abuse in his own family and may have been

abusive in courtship.
* presents a history of personal and/or family discord; unemployment,

cruelty to animals, abuse of alcohol or other substances, and other

unexplained behavior.”

Edward might not be abusive, but if he wasn’t sure that he’d kill her by

smacking her around I’m sure he would be. In all actuality he does cause

her phyiscal harm on more than one occasion.

Was it neccasary to throw her out of the way before lunging onto Jasper?

Was it necessary to drag her around by her coat into his Volvo?

I won’t even mention Breaking Dawn.

12 Ways To Tell Whether Your Partner
May Turn Into An Abuser

1. Heavy drinking or drug abuse (especially if he uses substances as an

excuse for what he does: “The alcohol made me do it.”)

2. Abuse during the courtship period is a guarantee of further abuse that

will become more frequent and severe. Don’t marry him with the belief that

“I can change him.” You won’t.

3. Morbid jealousy. This may be a bit flattering at first, but will be a curse

later on. You will never convince him that you are innocent of his

accusations.

4. Past child abuse and/or witness of marital violence. This happens in

some cases. Children learn what they live. Boys tend to copy their fathers.

Abused children discipline their own children as they were taught. He may

be a “violence carrier”.

5. Inability to handle frustration. If he blows up and explodes at small

things, and reacts with a tantrum over minor things, he may act out

frustration with violence in a marriage. How he deals with anger is the

key.

6. A violent temper. This speaks for itself. If you feel fear when he acts

out his anger, that fear is a warning signal. Listen to it!
7. Cruelty to animals, abuse and mistreatment of pets, great enjoyment of

hunting for the sake of killing animals could help you to face this question:

What makes you know he will treat you any differently?

8. Preoccupation with weapons. They are an extension of self. A

person is what she/he lives. If he ever “playfully” points a gun at you or

ever gestures at you with another weapon, what could happen if he

became very angry with you?

9. Mental illness. A person with an unsound mind or without any sense

of moral responsibility or guilt may not be in control of his actions. Does he

act in ways that you feel are abnormal or strange?

10. A poor self-image; insecurity about his own masculinity. If he feels

compulsive about always being “one up” and dominating and he lives out a

macho role at all times, you will be subject to his control and possibly

treated like one of his possessions. He may feel he has the right to treat

you like his property, to do as he pleases.

11. A pattern of blaming others, particularly his wife, for his problems. If

he never accepts his faults and responsibilities when things go wrong, be

ready to be blamed for everything.

12. Acceptance of violence as an appropriate problem-solving method.

Do you want a man who talks out or acts out his anger?

Edward fits more than 6 of these characteristics. Is that the sign of the

perfect boyfriend involved in a healthy relationship? No.

I understand that your a brunette and can picture yourself as Bella

because others have ‘known what’s best for you’.

But please don’t say that Edward is nice, even when he’s not, and that he

is a good boyfriend. He is a controlling boyfriend and these need to be

identified so that Generation Y doesn’t end up screwed up by these

books. As much as many people like to disagree, Fiction Influences Most

Teenagers Lives.

And by saying that a controlling, potentially abusive, boyfriend is a good

thing for a teenage girl you are setting many bad examples for teens.

As for your mother the psychologist that supposedly anayzed Bella and

Edward’s relationship, maybe you need to check her degree because if

she is indeed a good phsychologist why do you claim to have been a

recluse in your youth?

Just because Bella accepts it, that doesn’t make it right!