Wannabe

Filed Under (Life) by on 08-17-2003

Those closest to me know how much I can’t stand fake people. People who are like chameleon’s and change to their surroundings…Well I see it more and more in my own home and it is driving me insane. If I could put it in some way that wouldn’t sound like I was full of myself I would, but the other two are trying to be Misty and I. He is not a dark person, he is a lazy, passive, lemming. And for some reason he is trying to become ME. Gothic girls on his desktop, candles, oils, dragons, GOTHIC stuff. THAT IS ME! THAT HAS BEEN ME FOR AS LONG AS I CAN REMEMBER…HE is anything but dark, mysterious, or “gothic” if you will. It wouldn’t make me so mad if it weren’t for the fact he has stolen every idea I have ever had and done it as far as bedroom decor goes. I say I want to do something, but can’t cuz I don’t have the money and he turns around and does it so if I do it I look as though I am copying him. And yes I know, I should swallow my pride and get over myself, etc., etc. But seriously I feel like I have lost my identity. Kinda like how crabs and other such sea creatures can move one shell to another. It’s almost as though I stepped out of my shell for a day and he moved into it. October is just too damn far away. I will die if I have to sit it out in this apartment until February. He’s turned into a puppet, and he’ll change and let the people around him mold him and pull his strings for him to do what they want.

They brought in a stray kitten…That’s fine and dandy, but I swear if Salem and Phantom get god damn ear mites again or anything from it I will be pissed. They never asked for our consent, they just brought the god damn thing home. Granted I don’t like to see cats roaming the street but newborn kittens go quick at the pound. Believe me Misty and I couldn’t find a cat at the pound for the life of us. Nicole wants it, her step dad won’t let her have it. It WILL NOT live here. Joe said he doesn’t want a cat, can’t take care of a cat, SHE does not live here. IT will not live here. Salem had to go through enough with Phantom and I won’t put her through it again. Am I being selfish? Probably, but I am tired of the double standards and the hypocrisy. SHE does not live here yet Misty and I clean up after her almost daily cuz we won’t live in a pig sty…I hate it here, I am starting to hate them, I hate feeling trapped and uncomfortable in my own home…

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