Mike, you are not crazy; our system is. We don’t have enough money to help people who work their butts off and come up a tad short on funds, because we are paying for all the people who shouldn’t be here, and who shouldn’t have aid in the first place. Am I saying the people who are here illegally are not humans and don’t need help? No. But what about you and others of us who need this help?

You have to lose your job, or make really poor decisions to get help. You can’t be an honest hard-working person who just needs a little help.

Minimum wage is a joke – the fact that you are making double that and have hardship is ridiculous. I agree with you, it shouldn’t be so difficult when you work your butt off.

We do pay that money, and we can kiss it goodbye. I do hope things change soon for you.

I will pray for you, Misty, Aiden, and Cambria to have a happy, healthy home with abundance overflowing.

I feel for ya man.. I used to live in the land of fruits and nuts.. When my wife left the Air Force we were in Sac.. I gave her 3 months to find a job, any job, or we were running for Indiana..

I’ve lived here in Indiana for almost 10 years now.. California prices are so out of control I don’t see how anyone can afford to still live there..

Good luck man..

While I completely feel and sympathize with your frustration I sincerely and completely resent the implication that people who chose to or have to work are not raising their children and somehow you are doing a better job by having a stay at home wife. I have no problem with people making that choice, however not making that choice does not mean they are bad parents.

I went to my grandparents every day after school. My grandparents did not teach me my values. My grandparents did not help me with my homework. My grandparents did not feed my intelligence with trips and endless hours of conversation.

When I have children, I will not be staying at home with them. I resent the implication that that means that I’m not going to be raising them. I’d wager that the legion of single moms who have no other choice, or the families who have two working parents either by choice or because that supports their standard of living might take issue to that statement as well.

By that standard – as a working husband and father, are YOU not raising your children?

I’m sorry – I know your comment was borne mostly of frustration, and I’m sorry that things are rough for you. Things are rough all around. I don’t know anyone who really lives within their means, but I also know that that is the story of most twenty-somethings. You work very hard. It is likely that you will be more comfortable later in your career. I can’t say that it’s guaranteed because my non-negligent extraordinarily hard working mother has worked all her life and she lost almost everything. Still, your family and my family – we have so much more than so many other families. It could be so, so much worse.

PS

Letting other, GREAT people into your children’s lives does not mean you aren’t raising them. Ali still talks to and loves her daycare provider. Her daycare provider encouraged her, along with her parents and family, all through her high school and college career. Her daycare provider is just one more person who cared about her. In no way did she raise Ali – but she was a part of her life. That’s not a bad thing.

No good parent just leaves their kid with an idiot.

@John, thanks for the comment. It’s true what you say, we all pay into it yet few of us get to utilize it. Even if just long enough to get us back on our feet.

@Anna, For once I’m not going the illegal route here. With all the BS Misty and I had to fill out and go through if there are illegals getting this kind of assistance then they went to a lot of damn trouble to do it. Thank you for your kind words though.

@Steve Out of state was an option at one point, but now we just aren’t in a place where we could do it. Not to mention we have so many friends and family members here in California it’s hard to move away, especially with 2 little ones.

@Kristina I don’t recall ever saying that parents who don’t directly raise their kids are bad parents. I simply said I didn’t want to raise my kids that way. My mom raised my cousins kids and I spent the first 7 years of my life being practically raised by a close family friend. There isn’t a problem with this, it’s just not the way we wanted our kids raised.

Mike, unfortunately (as a child raised in the system here on assistance) I have to share that there are legal people getting assistance… to support the family or families of several people who are here illegally. Also, some get assistance and then send the money back home to their families out of the country.

Like I said, I grew up on “AFDC” (aid for dependent children), and my mom was obviously not illegally here, but she was totally reliant on the system with little to no accountability and to this day lives on the taxpayer’s dime, and will until she dies. She hasn’t worked since I was 8 years old, and I am nearly 30.

She lives in an apartment through HUD, paying lowered rent, with money from the state. When I was with her, she had me as the meal ticket… once she kicked me out of the house it was because she had to be able to get rid of assets that were mine being counted as hers so she could qualify for a new program. I got kicked out of my house at 17 so she could remain on the assistance. This is the type of person you’re “competing” against for help.

Any way you slice it, I have a problem with people in true need not getting a little help.

Honestly, if it wasn’t for people at church taking the initiative to raise me while my mom would not, I wouldn’t even know how to take care of my own basic needs. And she was getting paid to have me around basically, thanks to good ol’ CA. And did she actually take care of me with that money? Nope… that was people at church. They paid for my food, clothes, etc. Thank God for them… but I agree with you, that the ideal is to be with mom or dad during the day. You know I have to work and my kids go to daycare, but I chose an in-home daycare because to me it was at least a little easier to leave them each day to go to work.

Sorry for the rambling, but I just wish things were easier for you right now. I know there are plenty of people worse off than any of us, but that doesn’t change the difficulty for anyone struggling with some part of their life.

I make 14 an hour, family of four working with at&t. My wife was working, and now she isnt. EVERYONE AT AT&T makes more than my position pays installing anything! I have many years working as an electrician, but being that the union only wants to LET IN whom they elect to… (its like winning the lotto to get in) and then they lay you off right away, I see at&t as nothing more than benefits… and forced overtime. but because the pay is low , It equates to 17 an hour… I am often in negative in the bank. we own not rent. 4 br, 2 cars. one for work (a small used pick up) and a used Mini van. 3 credit cards with high rates and 500 dollar limits. 6000 a year taxes in a lower income neighborhood (i know that is high, but how can we move?) 1300 a month with taxes included. Illinois.

I feel like I am clearly selling myself short. Women seem to make FAR more than men do (I refer to minorities) in my view, and on the net I see this as well. I see them making 40 plus a year EASY, and many of the males (black) are scrounging for work. So I always get the “be glad you have work at all” which to me is a cop out. becuase the same could be said of Indentured Slavery, or some guy picking apples in florida 13 hours a day for UNDER minimum wage.

If we all thought like that, we would be Mexico.

I dont know anymore. What you guys think?

Rod, sounds like your situation isn’t much better than mine here in California. I will say the fact you have credit card payments probably isn’t helping your situation. My wife and I only have one credit card and it has very low limit. But I can definitely understand your frustration since we used to have a number of outstanding loans and credit cards looming over our heads.

I think anymore most Americans are underpaid, largely due to the fact that we utilize the cheap labor of migrant workers or outsource to other countries. Doing so leaves fewer jobs and lower salaries for those of us in the American workforce.

Thanks for your comment though. I hope things workout for the best with you and your family in the future!

Dude you gotta leave CA. The kids will get over it as long as you do it before they get into High school. Try Texas. It is sunny and hot and not everyone here is a redneck like most think. It is cheap to buy a house and you could probably get one for less then your rent. Lets not forget the job market here is also pretty good. I just happened to stumble onto your site while doing an energy drink search. see my site and you will understand.

I agree with you completely. I am a single mother living in Florida, where the cost of living is nowhere near California. I am making about four times as much as i made when i was married; I still live paycheck to paycheck.Granted, I’m attending college part-time, but I don’t eat at restaurants, I buy my children’s clothes at Target and Walmart, we live in an apartment. Maybe we are all supposed to live on ramen noodles and hotdogs?

You cannot survive on $2,200 per month if you are a family of four without covering the shortfall you will have with credit cards. You need to make at least $4,000 to $4,900 per month net (take home) in order to survive and stay out of debt if you are a family of four. I’ve been tracking every dollar spent for the last 7 years supporting a family of four and you cannot survive on less than this (this of course assumes no Debt payments at all, so if you have a car payment etc… you need to make more). This also assumes full coverage health insurance, which co-pays will still run you on average over the year about $100 per month. On $2,200 per month, you will be going into debt really fast or perhaps you will have to live with a relative to save on rent (but you will still have a shortfall, unless you take only public transportation and get rid of your car altogether). $2,200 per month is below the poverty line with today’s prices if you want to be realistic. Oh yes, and the $4,000-$4,800 per month assumes religious coupon clipping. The problem is most people have no idea what it really costs to live.

White people need public assistance? WOW. What is this world coming to? Get a job and stop looking for handouts. You and Becky are more than capable of doing it yourselves. Stop whining and expecting everyone to give you everything.

Well Color Me Surprised, I’m not sure who Becky is, but thanks for commenting nonetheless. I have a job, I work full time, perhaps you failed to read the whole post. And to say, “White people need public assistance?” is ridiculous. Just because I am white or my family is white does not mean that I am not capable of falling into unfortunately circumstances that any race can fall into. It’s a shame that you feel only people of ethnicity should benefit from government programs when they need them.

Fortunately for my family our situation has improved since I wrote this post. But it was never about wanting handouts, it was about needing assistance in a time when we were struggling, which is how it should be used. It shouldn’t be used as a handout or a free ride.

First off the racist bit is starting to switch sides in my opinion…. If you get what Im saying color me suprised… and Mike I agree with you wanting to raise your own kids as a stay at home mother & former single mother AND a former Daycare provider. I would say you do not HAVE to put kids in daycare but your not completely bad for doing it. I found a remedy though where I could spend almost every waking moment with my son. The first year I worked nights and had Grandparents watch him while he slept. I was able to put food on the table and purchase a small home on 9 dollars an hour part time… Little tiring though so the Second year I brought him to a daycare with me when I worked and was able to make some money but still be with him…Tthird yeat I begun to do daycare in my own home. And now with my second child I am a stay at home mom.. Find a way to stay home with your kids its worth it. As a Daycare Provider I have seen to many bad things to ever want to bring my kids to a Daycare again LOL. Mike being on Goverment assistance was made FOR EVERYONE who needs assistance and especially for middle class people who are actually TRYING and need just a little assistance to get back on their feet. I hope you have luck and I totally disagree with californias assistance program…. You are not wrong be feeling the way you do… A little about me: Family of four. No credit cards single income of 2,200. stay at home mom looking for Job ON assistance in MN where prices are half of what californias are. Own two homes but renting out one. Average to nice house on 3 acres….
Own over 3 vehichles not all insured.
MY advice is to move to minnesota LOL but I know that probably isnt a possiblilty because of family and friends.. OR your going to hate this one but get divorced LOL me and my fiance refuse to get married due to the fact we cant afford the after affects.. and taxes. We love eachother the same just without the legality of it all..
Good luck and stick with your wife staying home or getting a part time jobs if she wants or needs to. Its good for the kids and her.