I was killing sometime online tonight (like I always do) and I came across a video a friend shared on Facebook called Whats goin on…  The video, which you can see below tells the story of Jonah, a boy who now in the eighth grade has been bullied almost daily since he was in the first grade.  He began cutting in second grade, and he now has scars covering much of his upper body.

As I watched the video I was almost brought to tears.  As a father of two four year olds that are nearing school age, I worry about the world they are entering.  I worry that the words of some bully could be enough to take them from me through suicide or some other terrible act, and the thought of that terrifies me.  As I went to share the video on Facebook I wrote how sad the video was and began to say, “WTF is wrong with the world today?  Bullying wasn’t like this when I was a kid”.  But then I stopped for a moment, and I began writing this blog post.

The Shift in Bullying

Has bullying really gotten worse since I was growing up in the 80′s and 90′s, or has the social medium and media attention simply given those who have been bullied a louder voice, which leads us to believe it’s worse?  As I write this I remember a time when I was in junior high when I found myself curled up in a ball bawling in the middle of the street because a group of people I grew up with and called “friends” had bullied me to a breaking point.  To a point where I was so upset that all I could do was break down.  I don’t remember what was said, or what happened leading up to that, but I remember the breaking point.  I am 31, and I can still remember that point vividly.  It’s not the words, or the actions that stick with you, it’s the pain.

So I ask again.  Has it really gotten worse?

The Societal Crossroads

I then started to thing about other factors.  Are kids these days more sensitive? Are kids these days meaner?  If for some reason it has gotten worse, what’s made it worse?  I started to look at the big picture and one thing in particular stood out.

Our society is at a crossroads right now.  There is a movement fighting for equal rights for homosexuals and with it more and more of society is letting people young and old know that it’s ok to be gay.  Yet on the other hand there is a large sect of Americans that are against this.  They believe marriage is a religious right and not a human right.  They believe that homosexuality is a sin, an abomination.  Sometimes these beliefs are so hard coded into their being that they fuel hate and anger.  Could this crossroads be the cause of an increase in bullying, if it is in fact worse?

In Jonah’s video he holds up cards that say, “A lot of people hate me…I don’t know why…But I guess I do.  Cuz I kinda hate me too…Gay. Fag. Dick. Douche. Homo. Asshole…”  Jonah doesn’t state whether or not he is homosexual, but you’ll notice that three of the six insults listed on the card are slang for homosexuals.  Could the epidemic of hatred against homosexuals be fueling even more bullying?  Could many of our youth be getting targeted as homosexuals even if they aren’t, and in turn the bullying is in fact worse and therefore more widespread?  It’s possible.

Whats Goin On…

What is going on?  Jonah asks a great question, and right now it’s hard to tell.  Are things getting worse for our youth or has technology simply given them a place to be heard?  I like the think it’s the latter.  At least then I have hope that there is in fact some hope for these kids.  Maybe all they need is to be heard.  Maybe all they need is a community to tell them it gets better.  Jonah has received an outcry of support in his YouTube comments, but is that enough?  I can’t help but think that if he was being bullied to the degree he made it sound that this ability to share his feelings, cry on camera, and try and show his strength would only set him up for more ridicule and bullying.  Does technology empower him, or endanger him?  I really don’t know.

What I do know is that whether it’s worse, or the same as when I was growing up, or even when my parents were growing up we have to teach our children to rise above it.  As parents we must be supportive and instill confidence in our children at a much younger age.  We must not be judgmental and now more than ever you need an honestly policy with your kids that instills a relationship of trust so that if they get to a breaking point they know they can come to you if needed.   Because if they can’t reach out to you, they may be reaching out to the knife, the razor blade, or worse a gun.

From 2008 – 2010 Musings for a Darkened Room served multiple purposes, it was an outlet for my random rants and musings, but it was also a stage for my professional writing about the internet marketing industry.  In May of 2010 I announced the launch of Nevermore Search Marketing, my freelance effort in the SEO and Social Media Marketing industry.  As of tonight I have moved all internet marketing related material over to the Nevermore Search website, and Musings for a Darkened Room now solely houses rants, musings, funny finds, and other random tidbits.

I appreciate all of my readers who have followed the blog over the years.  if you followed the blog for my internet marketing updates, please update your feeds to follow http://www.nevermoresearch.com/blog/feed.

If you have stuck around for my random musings then please continue to follow me here.  There are sure to be more exciting posts to come in the coming months.

The internet is a dangerous place.  Not because of child predators, or cyber bullying, spyware or viruses, but because it is an enormous platform for spreading ignorance and hate.  I got a forward from my dad tonight with the subject line “The crotch salute again!”.  In it was the following:

At the Ft. Hood Memorial Service… The crotch salute returns again!

I am sorry folks, but In the United States of America I do believe that saluting the flag goes with respecting and honoring the service members who have died.  Does this pompous ass believe he is above that gesture? He can shower us all with flowery words and dazzle us with his B.S., but actions speak louder.  This sucks! Now tell me our Muslim President isn’t an anti-American! EVERYONE needs to see this Pix!

Furious with the way this was worded, and suspecting this to be a fake because Naval officers were in the background of a Army memorial, I did some research.  Fortunately CSPAN has complete coverage of the Ft. Hood Memorial Service, which you can view here.  If you notice, the cloth surrounding the podium is black, not blue.  Furthermore, there is a smaller American flag and additional military flags behind the podium during the memorial.

While I had enough to prove my point I was still not satisfied and did a little more investigating looking to Snopes.com to hopefully find more on this email.  Sure enough, I discovered that the crotch salute email was not only circulated following the Ft. Hood memorial, but also after Memorial Day.  Fortunately, Snopes does a lot of the leg work for you and identified footage on YouTube of the actual event in which President Obama stood there hands on his “crotch” and a smirk on his face.  It turns out it was played during Hail to the Chief at a wreath laying ceremony at Arlington National Cemetery.

My father is by no means an ignorant man, but as you can see in this situation he was lead to believe a blatant lie because information spread via the internet lead him to believe that it was true.  You see, the internet is a dangerous place because it allows us to judge and make decisions without thinking.  We let the message it delivers us do the thinking and we are quick to react as though it is fact.

President Barack Obama is not anti-American, the assholes that are starting emails like the one I saw tonight are anti-American because they tarnish events and places meant to remind us of those who have died for our freedoms, with blatant lies and hatred.  The next time you receive an email like this, I hope you stop and do your homework.  I was able to crack the case with 2 searches.  One on Google for Fort Hood Memorial Service video and another on Snopes.com for crotch salute.